I’ve always considered my vocabulary pretty solid but nonetheless I found myself googling ‘insalubrious’, ” (of a place) seedy and run-down; unwholesome.”

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I figured I would check it out. It’s a Nightclub, the music isn’t terrible and watching Gek’s dance is hilarious. I was having a right laugh at that when suddenly up rocked the Tony Manero of the Gek world pulling some real Saturday Night Fever dance moves. Side to side shuffle, arms up in the air, the little dude was going for it.

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100% would recommend getting an insalubrious den of your own.

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At the beginning of the year I gained the “To live forever” achievement in my first permadeath run, only to die stupidly a few days later. So I went straight back in. Did that 16th warp yesterday.

Turned out the game had decided to put the portal on an infected dustbowl with aggressive sentinels. Well, OK. I could have found the sentinel pillar and shut down the opposition, but I had all the resources you might need to open a portal, so I figured I could open it before the sentinels triggered. Well, nearly…

Ever think you’ve activated all the glyphs but you missed one and you cant see which? I was hunting for that last one when the sentinels found me. I did consider digging a hole, hiding and then going to find the pillar, but than I thought “This is what I’m here for. Bring it on.” So I summoned the minotaur and the three of us (can’t leave Laylaps out of the main event) got ready to party.

During the second wave, a dust storm hit. Night fell. Visibility became very poor. Third wave I didn’t get to the summoner drones quickly and spent a lot of time scrambling to find the combat supplies that drones drop because my shield kept being knocked down to around 20% or worse.

That’s when the game started to slow down (gotta love those memory leaks). Froze completely for a few seconds, a couple of times.

At a point during the fourth wave, summoner drones still beating me to the punch and repair drones all over the place, when I had run clear around the edge of the fight to find some supplies, the game slowing down more, I’d just found a precious green canister only for Laylaps to get in the way so that I had to endure the (slowed down) dialog before I could get free and recharge my shields, I though to myself (I had time, what with the game misbehaving):

“After your first PD death, after you stopped kicking the furniture, you promised yourself that you were going to learn and to show that you had the good sense and foresight to survive and prosper in this mode.

What happened?”

And yet we lived. Fifth wave as at least as hairy as the fourth, but we lived. Shortly after we finally killed the walker, the storm cleared up.

Had to repair half of the minotaur’s modules. He really took the heat for me in the last two waves. Took that screenshot of my team just before I left. They were there for me. Then I stepped through.

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There is a coda to this story.

I chose Eissentam because you don’t find much company in PD and, outside Euclid, there are more people there than anywhere else. Also, after a fight like that it would be nice to land on a paradise planet. “What random name will it have?” I wondered, “And what will I call it?”

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Hiltoni Major? Seriously? Gods of procgen, are you just laughing at me? Well, after such a welcome, I had little choice for a name.

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The Hilton Majestic is a very grand old hotel in Harrogate, England, if you’re wondering. Justice dictates that I build a large base and call it “The Majestic”.

That was my story. Thanks for reading. Despite all evidence to the contrary, I intend to make this save last. See you around, fellow PD players.